As a child
I longed for your attention
The youngest born
With three older siblings
I was never good enough
Never smart enough
Never pretty enough
I became stale
The novelty of babies gone
You said I was easy
No tears, no fuss, no sickness
Still, there’s no sweet affection
An unwanted child, you said
A reminder when I disappoint
Drilled into my childhood psyche
That lingers on
Mother, why did you despise me?
Why the cold, chilly existence
Which engulf me, even in death, I disappoint
When all my life
I wanted so bad to please
To make you proud
Too late now
No chance for redemption
Only anger left in me, replacing the longing of a child I once was
And I find peace…
I finally found peace.
Living with Depression 