Spiralling

I took time off work today and yesterday. Firstly, it was mostly because I am physically and mentally exhausted. Work has been extremely stressful the past 3 weeks, due to shortage of staff. Shortage of staff is a norm more than an exception in my department, due to a multitude of reasons that I won’t talk about here. Essentially, I have been the only nurse at the moment, juggling between clinical work, supervision of student nurses and a new graduate nurse, facilitating groups and administrative tasks. I have fallen back into my coping strategy of just pushing through and numbing myself, and it is starting to unravel me.

Since Monday this week, I can feel myself slipping back into a depressive state. My mood has been low and I feel flat. Concentration is bad and all I can do is distract myself with watching Netflix and vaping. This is not a good sign.

I have a follow up consult with my psychiatrist tomorrow and I am considering to discuss the possibility of her signing me off for a 3 day work week for the next 3-4 weeks. I think I need to slow things down. But, I am not sure if this is going to help.