It’s strange when something you used to find comforting has become distressing. Picking up my fountain pen and writing down my thoughts used to be helpful. Somehow, I have found writing has become extremely difficult the past couple of months. This is why I haven’t written anything for weeks now, despite having the time to do since I have taken time off work.
My partner was subtly trying to tell me that I should start writing again, even if it is just jotting down short sentences or words. Even this, I have found difficult. As I write this post, my mind struggles to find the words to describe the mess of my thoughts and feelings, or should I say, lack of feelings. Sometimes, feeling extreme sadness is better than feeling nothing. Even my thoughts are quiet but messy. Not sure if any of you out there know what I mean by ‘quiet but messy’, but I can’t think of a better way to describe it.
Living with Depression 
I think “quiet but messy” is a good description. Depression tends to slow down my brain so it’s quiet, but anything that is in there is messy.
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Hi Ashley, thank you for dropping by my blog … that’s exactly it: ‘depression slow down my brain so it’s quiet’. We do need to continue trying to describe what depression is like because it does help to be able to put words to it.
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How about something creative? Or thoughts on current events, or both together.
Sometimes you do just need a break. Sometimes something that you’ve done a lot starts to annoy and irritate you. But yeah it is a strange feeling I agree.
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Hi RoBIN, thank you for dropping by my blog. Yes, I think you’re right about doing something creative. I’ve picked up my guitar again after years of not playing. I’ve forgotten quite a bit of songs that I’ve learned, but it has been helpful to just hear the sound of the guitar. I’ve forgotten how much I used to love playing.
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I am in exactly the same boat! One day I am going to pick up the guitar again too, when I’m ready.
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Hi RoBIN… sorry for not replying to your comment sooner. Have you started playing again?
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